Family support programme

Supporting someone in recovery means being consistent, informed, and clear about your own limits. The most practical steps you can take: learn about addiction and what recovery involves; attend family therapy if it’s offered; set clear limits around what you will and won’t accommodate; and access support for yourself.

Our Thursday evening family support meetings at First Step are a good starting point, as is the information on our intervention process page if your loved one hasn’t entered treatment yet. Read more about helping someone who is in denial about their addiction.

No visits are permitted in the first 7 days of treatment. From day 8, family members are welcome to visit on Saturdays between 14:00 and 17:00, and on Sundays between 10:30 and 17:00, for a maximum of 2 hours per day. All visitors must be approved by the patient’s therapeutic team before coming in, to ensure visits support rather than disrupt the recovery process.

Yes. Within the first 7 days of admission, a family session is arranged with the patient’s treating psychologist. Follow-up sessions are encouraged when both the patient and family are willing to participate.

No. The Thursday evening meetings are open to anyone affected by a loved one’s addiction, regardless of whether the person is currently in treatment. You’re welcome to attend on your own.

Consistent family support in the period after treatment has a significant bearing on long-term recovery. The most practical things you can do are encouraging your loved one to attend aftercare, understanding that relapse is part of the recovery process for many people rather than a definitive failure, and avoiding behaviours that make it easier for them to sidestep accountability. Accessing support for yourself during this period, whether through our Thursday meetings, Al-Anon, or your own therapy, also helps you manage the ongoing strain without absorbing it alone.

Read more about relapse prevention and continuous care.

Children living with a parent who has an addiction adapt to their environment in ways that often persist long after the immediate situation changes. 

Two patterns emerge frequently: hypervigilance, where a child becomes acutely attuned to a parent’s mood as a way of anticipating conflict or instability, and parentification, where a child takes on adult responsibilities such as caring for younger siblings or managing a parent’s emotional state. Both tend to show up in adulthood as anxiety, depression, difficulty trusting others, and low self-esteem.

Growing up with a parent who has a substance use disorder also qualifies as an adverse childhood experience (ACE), and research shows that higher levels of childhood adversity raise the risk of physical and mental health difficulties later in life, including a greater vulnerability to addiction. Understanding these effects can help you focus on the right kind of support for the children in your household, even while you’re managing the wider impact of a loved one’s addiction. Our article on how addiction affects the whole family covers these dynamics in detail, as does our piece on how a parent’s alcohol use affects children.

Age-appropriate honesty tends to serve children better than silence or vague reassurances. Children generally sense when something serious is happening, and without a clear explanation, they’ll fill the gap themselves, often with self-blame.

For younger children, a short and concrete explanation works well: a parent is sick with an illness that makes it hard for them to stop drinking or taking drugs, and it has nothing to do with anything the child has done. For older children and teenagers, more detail is appropriate, including the fact that addiction is a recognised medical condition and that the parent is getting help.

In all cases, the most important point to communicate is that the child is not at fault. Children of parents with addiction commonly take on responsibility for a parent’s behaviour in ways that cause lasting harm, and being direct removes a weight that can otherwise go unaddressed for years.

Our article on how a parent’s alcohol use affects children covers the psychological impact in detail, and our piece on sober parenting offers practical ways to frame conversations about alcohol and substance use at home.

Children handle difficult news better when they receive it directly from a trusted adult rather than piecing it together from overheard conversations or sudden changes in routine. The goal isn’t to shield children from the truth but to give them an explanation that’s honest, age-appropriate, and clear about what will stay the same.

For younger children, a short and concrete explanation works: a parent is going somewhere to get help with their illness, they’ll be away for a while, and the adults around the child will continue to care for them.

For school-age children and teenagers, more context is appropriate. Explaining that addiction is a medical condition, that residential treatment is how people get the intensive help they need, and that the parent is doing something about the problem can help an older child make sense of what’s happening without filling the gap with shame or confusion.

In all cases, give the child a concrete picture of what daily life will look like while the parent is away: who will pick them up from school, where they’ll sleep, whether they’ll be able to speak to or visit the parent, and when the parent is expected to return. Predictability and routine offer more reassurance during a period of disruption than words alone. Our sober parenting article covers how to talk with children about a parent’s substance use in an age-appropriate way.

Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) are stressful or traumatic events that occur during childhood and that research has consistently linked to poorer physical and mental health outcomes in adulthood. ACEs include:

• Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
• Neglect
• Witnessing domestic violence
• Growing up with a parent who has a mental illness or substance use disorder
• Parental separation, divorce, or incarceration
• Loss of a parent

A key finding from ACE research is that risk compounds with exposure: the more adverse events a child experiences, the higher their vulnerability to mental and physical health difficulties in later life. A 2023 systematic review found that among people seeking treatment for substance use disorders, between 85% and 100% had experienced at least one ACE.

For families affected by addiction, ACEs are relevant in two ways:

1. If a parent has struggled with addiction, the children in the household may have accumulated ACE exposure that is worth addressing with a therapist or counsellor. Our article about how addiction affects the whole family explores how growing up with an addicted parent qualifies as an ACE.
2. Many adults who develop addiction themselves carry a significant history of childhood trauma, which shapes how addiction develops and how it needs to be treated. Our article on trauma and addiction explores this relationship in more detail.

Exposure to a parent’s addiction does raise a child’s statistical risk of developing addiction later in life, but a higher risk doesn’t translate to a fixed outcome. Research identifies several protective factors that substantially reduce the likelihood of long-term harm, including:

• Access to at least one emotionally stable and consistently present adult
• Predictable routines and structure at home
• Therapeutic support for the child directly, separate from family sessions
• Open, age-appropriate conversations about addiction

Seeking treatment is itself one of the most meaningful things a parent can do to alter the trajectory for their children. Early intervention and honest communication give children a meaningfully different environment to grow up in. 

Our article on how a parent’s alcohol use affects children discusses the intergenerational risk in detail, including the evidence on protective factors. Our piece on trauma and addiction also explains why childhood adversity raises addiction vulnerability, and how dual diagnosis treatment addresses it.

No. Houghton House provides treatment for adults only. For adolescents under 18, Elim Clinic in Kempton Park offers a dedicated youth programme, and Netcare Akeso runs adolescent psychiatric and addiction programmes at several of its facilities nationally (crisis line: 0861 435 787, available 24 hours).