Matthew’s binge drinking recovery story

Matthew grew up drinking and never thought that he’d end up with a debilitating binge drinking problem – one that he’s now overcome.

Early drinking days

Matthew was raised in a religious Jewish home in Johannesburg. “We always had alcohol in our house. I grew up as somebody who drank, but to be honest, not in an unhealthy way,” he says. Drinking — even in excess — was a socially acceptable practice at the time. 

Matthew’s relationship with alcohol grew increasingly unhealthy after he moved overseas, where he lived for a few years. There, although he drank about once a week, there were times he was “blind drunk”.

He says, “I’m of the opinion that alcohol can be a healthy thing within a person’s life, right? I, unfortunately, don’t have that ability, but some people do. That’s my personal belief. I’m not somebody who believes that everyone shouldn’t drink. I see it as I’m ‘allergic to alcohol‘, but most other people aren’t, you know?”

Drinking into adulthood

After getting married, Matthew took a job that required frequent travel, which brought with it both isolation and ample opportunity to drink. 

“With that, there was a loneliness to travelling, and I started using alcohol far more within that loneliness and boredom. I’m an outgoing person, but there are obviously demons that I’d never dealt with. And there was a layer of ‘outgoingness’ that was hiding other things.”

What began as a social habit eventually became something he did in secret. And as a binge-drinker rather than a daily drinker, he could stay in denial about how serious his drinking had become. 

“What ended up happening was that over a period of a few years, I would have a blind drunk bender. And, you know, that would be, let’s say, once every six months. In the beginning, it was once every six months, and it would just be that; I would get so drunk. And my wife would say she was so embarrassed.”

His drinking grew steadily worse, to the point where Matthew would go missing for a day or more. He’d then claim illness or say his phone was broken to explain his absence. 

With time, the pattern escalated: every time he travelled for work, he engaged in behaviour he knew was morally wrong.

“Emotionally, I would hurt the people that I care about the most. But I just could not get out of the routine of it, right? But it was out of the addiction of it. And it was an issue within our marriage.”

Entering treatment

Matthew’s wife eventually gave him an ultimatum: seek help, or she would file for divorce. 

With resentment in his heart, he reluctantly tried an outpatient programme but continued drinking. He then entered the inpatient programme at Houghton House, though surrendering to the process didn’t come easily to him.

“Rehab is an extremely emotionally painful thing, extremely. The way I describe it to people is, you’re peeling off layers of emotions with a cheese grater. You’re trying to rebuild yourself and reliving all these things emotionally. Except now you don’t have any substance or any relief. And the constraints of it and the discipline of it are hard to accept.”

“There was this moment when I said, ‘Okay, I’m going to accept that I need to listen to other people.’ Even when I disagreed, I recognised that these people have been doing this successfully for 30 years. The proof is in the pudding.”

His turning point wasn’t just internal. Support from others played a significant role. A successful uncle spoke admiringly of the inner strength it takes to work on oneself and offered words of encouragement: “I believe that if anyone can develop themselves as an adult, that’s the most incredible thing a person can do.”

Those moments helped dismantle the stigma he’d internalised. “I didn’t want to be an alcoholic. I thought, if I’m going to be anything, I’d rather be a cocaine addict — because that’s for successful people. It sounds crazy now, but that’s how warped my thinking was.”

Healing at Houghton House

Matthew describes his time at Houghton House as life-altering. 

“For me, it was unbelievable. The staff was incredible. My therapist at the time, Jackie, had an enormous impact on my life.”

He credits the facility for tailoring support to his specific needs, including his religious identity. 

“I’m religious — Jewish — and they knew how to manage that, respectfully and expertly.”

Matthew now speaks of his recovery with gratitude and conviction. 

“My experience couldn’t have been more successful. Thank God, I’m still clean. And I now truly believe recovery is possible – not just surviving addiction, but building something stronger from it.”